Hobson's Choice

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Garden Report #2

Oh, but wait. On page 43 of Gurney's seed catalog, there are pussy willow plants. Shouldn't all children get to have pussy willow in their garden?

Speaking of which, don't the elderly gentlemen in the house deserve a little catnip?

12:53 p.m. - 2007-02-24
1 comments

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Garden Report

The first seed catalogs arrived today, and I am a happy woman, if a slightly pitiful one. All gardeners, I think, get big eyes when the seed catalogs arrive. But when your garden is slightly bigger than a postage stamp, mainly in the shade, a certain element of pitiability enters in.

Already, I'm trying to figure out how I can grow beets for Chris. And what about asparagus; isn't there a place for asparagus somewhere? And now that I've finally found a source for bare-root lavender plants, where am I going to put them?

So I'm putting my garden resolutions out now in hopes that my dear readers will chide me if I go mad on the seed catalogs.

(1) I resolve only to add a few new elements to the garden this year. I'm going to remove the Wretched Rose Bush (the only hideous rose ever?) and plant two dwarf blueberries. I'm going to plan annual zinnias wherever I can fit them. And I'm going to put a butterfly bush by the garage. I may yet figure out a place to put some lavender. But that is it!

(2) I am not digging any new beds this year. My quest to eradicate the lawn in favor of flowers and vegetables will NOT make any progress in 2007.

(3) I am only planting tomatoes, lettuce, and basil in the vegetable garden. Okay, I may succumb to an eggplant.

All right, people, help keep me an honest woman. You might want to try to intercept the mail carrier before the next catalogs arrive.

12:44 p.m. - 2007-02-24
2 comments

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Quack

I've forgiven the spammers. Today I got this subject line in my email:

My waddle is primacy.

As I age and all my body parts travel south as well as east and west, I think this may become my motto

1:03 p.m. - 2007-02-22
0 comments

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Spam

I don't mind the spamsters and their silly names (Oprah G. Trounces). I don't mind complete nonsense ("includes appendices qualify designate"). I'm kind of charmed by subject lines like "Moonbeam postmaster" and "the levites bearing witness and Rehoboam was lovely."

But this spam subject line pushed every last button I have:

"I'm sorry you don't see the trouble you are causing."

It made me want to shriek, "I'm not the one causing trouble, you spamster! You're the..."

And when you start getting into conversations with your spam, therein trouble lies.

4:42 p.m. - 2007-02-20
1 comments

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It's good to be a star, but..

I have a feeling that a long 7 months is in front of us. Those are the seven months before the school doors open, and Eleanor starts kindergarten.

For the last weeks, when Eleanor has been upset about something, we frequently end up talking about all her kindergarten fears. This morning, a fluorescent bulb broke in the basement, scaring both Eleanor and me. After we both got over the shakiness of bursting glass, we had to make the rounds on:

(1) Her birthday is very soon. It is not a long time until kindergarten starts. It is almost July the 8th, and she will be five.
(2) Kindergarten is a long day. How will she go that long without me? And
(3) How will we ever have any mommy-daughter fun if she's in school all day?
(4) Well, even if I get all my work done while she's in school so that we can have fun times after school, that still will not work because she will be playing with Daniel after school.

Yesterday, the fabulous Uncle Luke came to visit. He asked about kindergarten, and here was their conversation:

E: (in a quiet voice) But Uncle Luke, I don't know who will be my friends.

UL: Everyone in your class will be your friend. It's going to be a lot of fun, and you can call me up and tell me about it. I'll be waiting by the phone on the first day of school.

Isn't he a great uncle?

6:09 p.m. - 2007-02-13
2 comments

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Wacky Projects

You may want to try these at home, but we may need to talk if you do.

(1) This is not a great picture, but it's the only one I could find. I swear I saw it on tv. It is full length adult coat made from stuffed animals, and they were trying to sell it as "Oh, you're going to meet some interesting new friends when you wear this coat." Like all parents, I'm thrilled by the idea of something practical to be done with the hundreds of stuffed animals that come pouring into your home every year, I think "interesting new friends" may be a bit of an understatement if you actually wear this in public. You have to scroll down to see it, but check it out.

(2) The Knitted Digestive System. Enough said.

(3) And this gorgeous sweater in last month's Interweave Knits. It's fabulous. And it's colorwork, knitted on size 0 needles! A sweater! On size 0! Would you have to take into account the 10 lbs the average woman gains every decade so that you could properly size it, knowing that it wouldn't be finished until you were 70 years old?

11:40 a.m. - 2007-02-10
1 comments

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Gonna have to get this fixed before kindergarten

The other night, Eleanor reported:

"When I don't understand something, I say, 'I can't get it up.' That's what it means. 'I can't get it up.'"

Chris and I should receive Awards of Valor for maintaining semi-straight faces.

8:35 a.m. - 2007-02-03
1 comments

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