Hobson's Choice
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Get stuffed
The stuffed animals are about to declare martial law. They now outnumber us by so many that there is no reason for them to stop at total household domination. If they would take up the mortgage payments or even do a little yard work from time to time, we might not mind. As it is, the damn things just sit around getting dusty and demanding tea parties and trips to the doctor.
Oh, yes, grandparents and uncles are squirming right now. Oh, no, they're thinking, she's talking about us; we're the ones who brought those animals into their home. Guilt, guilt.
In fact, we're all guilty for the state of affairs here. Have I given away the cute little moose I got at the baby shower and which Eleanor has not ever even once played with? No, I have not. I even still keep it out in hopes that she will fall in love with it. Have I given away the Kermit the Frog we got Eleanor for her second Valentine's Day and that she has only played with twice? No, I have not.
I have packed away a couple of boxes of animals for any babies that come into our family in the future (on the grounds that second babies don't receive the gift avalanche that first babies do). But I did that a couple of years ago, and the masses of stuffed animals are once again threatening to take over.
So if you don't hear from us in a while or if a cute but maniacal voice answers the phone, please send in the SWAT teams. Those Care Bears can have an ugly side when they rally for world domination.
10:11 a.m. - 2006-06-20
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