Hobson's Choice
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Separation
A lesson I'm learning from toddler-land: Eleanor and I are in the painful process of becoming (almost) separate individuals. The process is perhaps easier for me since I've gone through it once before with my own mom. When Eleanor was little and when she was very little, I didn't exactly notice her moods. We were so closely linked, it was as if we were one great feeling organism; I didn't even register that our moods were in sync. They were one and the same. Now it seems that some days, Eleanor and I are a great team; we move about our lives pretty seamlessly; other days, it's push and pull. There is something to push and pull against now, one another.
Close to sleep, these are the times when we return to JenEleanor. Getting up from a nap, she wants to snuggle as she moves into wakefulness. Today, she wanted me to feed her afternoon snack and put her cup to her mouth. So sweet, so sweet to hold the baby again.
6:53 p.m. - 2004-03-08
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